One Excellent Strategy to Control Anger

Hello Readers!

We all get angry. And that’s fine. It’s HOW we deal with anger that’s vital to our own well-being and the well-being of others. Here is one way I’ve successfully taught my clients to calm their anger…

• Recognize what triggers your anger
• Remember what happens in your body when you feel angry (Remember your mind is in your body!)
• As soon as you recognize that “angry” trigger or feel the anger inside your body, acknowledge the anger. Say to yourself, “I feel anger coming on.” (If you can, remove yourself from the situation.)
• Start taking deep breaths. Breathe in to the count of 4 and breathe out to the count of 8. You can fiddle with this count as long as you breathe out twice as long as you breathe in.
• Expect to feel uncomfortable. Accept feelings, sensations and thoughts…let them flow through you. Fighting them will only prolong the anger.
• Keep breathing until you find your anger starts to dissipate. While you are breathing, you can say, “Breathe in peace and breathe out anger.” You can use this mantra or use another. Self-talk helps. “I can control my anger.” I am bigger than my anger.” “My anger is not my identity.”
• Once your anger has dissipated and you are breathing steadily, choose a task you can focus on. I, like many others, use nature and my senses to further calm down.  Get out in nature and breathe in the good air. Walk or stand up. It grounds you. Choose a sense…sound, for example. Listen for 5 sounds and try to identify them. Choose another sense and so on…
• Anger may return; if it does, focus on your breath, following it in and out.
• Gradually, your big emotions (your right emotional brain) will shrink and you will be able to integrate your logical, left brain with your emotional brain. At this point, you can make GOOD choices/decisions. Making decisions with your full-blown emotional brain will end up in saying and doing what you will come to regret.

Anger is usually a reaction to fear, pain or unresolved issues in your family-of-origin. Give yourself compassion (positive self-talk, hug yourself). No sense in getting angry at yourself for being angry!

Every time you can resolve your anger wholesomely, you re-wire your brain. Soon, lashing out, kicking walls, swearing, shouting, throwing will be a thing of your past.

Check out my Facebook page for other great information and strategies to wholesomely manage your anger. Go to my web-site…www.judithbarnard.com and click on the Facebook button. You can access my page even if you’re not on Facebook.

As always, please share your comments, add your experiences…

Best,

Judith