Posted by: jude49 | May 23, 2015

I’m Feeling Emotional, Not Suicidal!

Hey All,

For years now, I’ve noticed that when folks become emotional, the people around them become scared! Usually, there are comments like “There is nothing to be emotional about”…”Calm down”…Getting emotional doesn’t help anything.”

When tears accompany emotions, many people back away even further. Tears and emotions “means” people are sad, depressed, even suicidal. Wrong!

No emotion is bad. When people are emotional, it means they are having an emotional experience. It may be one of joy, of fear, of amazement, of sadness…

Emotional experiences are not bad or good; they just are! They are like the rain…they come and go.

What is the best way to deal with having an emotional experience yourself or seeing someone else have one? Here are some tips:

  • Acknowledge emotion by showing empathy.  “I’m feeling sad.” “You look like you’re having a bad day.
  • Know that emotions/feelings pass quickly…their life span is short.
  • Know that everyone is in charge of his/her own emotions. You are not the reason someone is happy, upset, frustrated, etc.
  • Give yourself or the other time to calm down. Often a move (standing up and moving around) will change mood, having a drink of water, a short walk in the fresh air or simply taking a deep breath will do the trick. Often, a light touch on the other’s shoulder or hand will calm.
  • Ask what you or the other needs. Give yourself and the other compassion and empathy.
  • Use words. “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now. I need a minute.” Giving voice to what you’re feeling helps shrink “big” feelings.
  • Be calm yourself. Don’t “catch” other people’s emotions. Stay grounded in your own place of peace.
  • Refrain from judgment. Some people are more emotional than others. Being emotional is not a character flaw!

If you happen to be an emotional person, know your triggers. In knowing them, you can manage them much better. You might say, “I need some time before I can discuss this”…”I’ll get back to you”… Make sure you take sufficient time to “shrink” your big emotions. Good decisions are made when your right (emotional) and left (logical) brains are equal size.

At first, you will need to constantly monitor the “impact” of your emotions on yourself and others so they don’t get too big. When triggers occur…and they will…the constant monitoring will pay off. You’ll find you are calmer and respond to yourself and others in a more loving way.

There are times when it is best not to show your emotions. Remind yourself that you don’t have to “stuff” your emotions forever; there will be a time when you can safely “diffuse” them.

Remember, your emotions belong to you; you manage and enjoy them; and it is your choice as to how and when you use them. If these tips aren’t helping you manage your negative emotions better, it may be best to consult a therapist to determine what else is contributing to having “big” emotions so much of the time.

I challenge you to use your emotions to your benefit and to the benefit of others! Choose rainbows over rain…

Best,

Judith

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