Posted by: jude49 | October 19, 2014

What Happened to the Life I Planned?

Dear Readers,

Death is often viewed as the biggest loss anyone can encounter. I’m wondering if that is true…Certainly it is the loss that receives the most attention…obituary notices, wakes, celebrations of life, etc. I don’t want to demean the devastation that death of a loved one causes, but there are other losses that result in a quiet and often desperate deprivation of the human spirit. Often, they go unnoticed, unacknowledged and unmourned. 

And, then, at some point, there’s a realization that, “I’m not where I wanted to be. I thought by now, I’d still be married to the same man, enjoying my grandchildren, travelling… But I’m alone and still working. I don’t know what happened.”

Loss of expectations, loss of what “could have been” is heartbreaking and can result in shame, guilt and regret. 

What to do?

  • Mourn your losses
  • Count your blessings
  • Identify the positives, what you’ve learned on your journey so far
  • Remember, you can’t change the past; however you can LESSEN the IMPACT the past has on you 
  • Identify reachable goals and work towards them regularly & consistently
  • Change/modify beliefs and expectations
  • Refuse to compare yourself with others
  • Move forward with faith and hope
  • Identify and get involved in your interests/passions
  • Invest in a therapist or life-coach who will help you move towards positive growth
  • Stay in the present and enjoy it!

The key point is to accept life “as it is” and not as it “should” be. Many times, our dream lifestyle doesn’t turn out to be such a dream after all. Keep moving toward your goal and don’t give up!

Blessings, 

Judith

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