Posted by: jude49 | May 15, 2014

I Don’t Have Money for Counselling!

Hello All, 

May is Mental Health Month.  Designating a month focused on mental health, in my view, is one step closer to reducing the stigma of mental illness.  Hurrah!

Women spend money on clothes.  They spend money on their hair and beauty products.  They spend money on personal trainers and/or gym memberships.  They spend money on technology.  They spend money on lessons for their children.  Don’t get me wrong…none of the above are bad.  It only becomes bad when your own mental/emotional health spirals into a negative downward spiral…when life becomes more of a chore than a joy.

The hard truth, though, is that one out of four women experience some form of anxiety.  Many women desperately try to “heal” themselves by keeping quiet, by self-medicating, by stuffing their emotions, by telling themselves it’s just a phase, and it will go away.  Some, after years of trying to manage the anxiety, collapse and find themselves in hospital.  Some develop more serious illness…mental and physical.  And some commit suicide.

My question is:  Why do women find it so difficult to ask for help?

One of the biggest concerns is lack of funds.  I have women (I focus on helping women with anxiety) who, when asking about my fees, make comments like:

  • My husband would be so angry at me if I spent $100.00 for 70 minutes of counselling.
  • I’d like to come and see you, but my medical plan doesn’t cover registered social workers.
  • I can only spend the $500.00 that my extended medical plan provides.
  • Can you “cure” me for x amount of dollars?
  • Paying for my kids activities and interests are my first priority.

I am convinced that most women can afford counselling.  It is a matter of commitment and priorities. But before you can commit or prioritize, you must feel you are worth.  And, I find, that’s the sticking point for most women.  Please believe: 

You are worthy of feeling emotionally and mentally well.

Do you believe that?  I don’t know if women feel they are worth taking money to be their best emotional selves.  From my experience, women tend to put their own needs last, much to their own detriment.  However, you are not the only one who suffers.  Your suffering has a ripple effect:  your work suffers, your family suffers, and most of all, your own mental and physical health suffers.

If you still feel money is an obstacle, consider cutting down on the following:

  • limit eating out, fast foods, processed and packaged foods
  • use natural cleansers such as baking soda, vinegar, lemon juice
  • carefully choose your children’s activities (the best activity for kids is play!)
  • buy what you need, not want you want
  • make good use of the library and other family activities that are free (picnics are great!)
  • buy second-hand or on sale
  • walk, bike when you can, rather than drive
  • drink water and avoid pop, energy drinks, drink boxes (full of sugar and chemicals)

Remember, you can’t replace your health.  Anxiety takes a physical toll.  I know.  I grew up with anxiety, and it went undiagnosed for years (no fault).  The resources available now were not available then.  Don’t suffer when there is no need.  Help is here and the money you spend on counselling now will pay future dividends, not only for you, but for those in your influence.  

What are you going to do to be your best emotional self?









  1. This is such an excellent post that I am going to save it. I have already found use for it, as I am passing it on to a client to send to a friend who truly needs some type of help. I think this is a great message to women who suffer and need counseling, but also to women who could benefit from coaching.

    • Thank you, Iris!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: