Posted by: jude49 | August 20, 2012

Worry is Like A Rocking Chair…

Hello Everyone, 

“Worry is like a rocking chair.  You rock and rock and you go nowhere.”  (Glen Yarborough, Folksinger)  

As a child and teenager, I spent much time rocking myself in our rocker in our living room.  At first, it was calming, but when I remained in the chair, rocking away for a long period of time, I actually became more agitated.  And when I stood up, I was dizzy, and I remember feeling worse than when I first started to rock myself!  A rocking chair, for me, was a place of safety.  I realize now it was “too” safe.  Staying in the rocking chair kept me from facing my fears.  Actually, my fears became more entrenched, and it was more difficult to move towards positive growth. 

And so it is with our thinking patterns.  If we choose (and it is a choice) to keep FOCUSING on our worries, we spiral downwards.  Today, I talked with a woman who was obviously worried.  She indicated she could not continue with her job search because she was “too” anxious.  Every time, I offered her a way to “re-focus” herself so she could calm her big emotions, she found a way to interrupt me and direct the focus back to a negative place.  In her mind, she was clinging to an “if only” belief.  (Remember those,  “If only I could talk to x; if only x would happen; if only… and then I’ll be fine.”)    

When we hold tightly to our beliefs, and disallow openness and flexibility, we are choosing, in essence, to keep reinforcing beliefs that will keep us in dark and negative places.  

At one point in our conversation, she started to focus on a positive thought.  In less than a minute, though, she said, “This is not helping.  My anxiety is still high.”  Positive growth does not happen immediately.  It is a process.  She asked me if I had done what I was asking her to do, and I replied in the affirmative.  I assured her that if she kept focusing on the positive, that gradually her big emotions would subside, and she would feel a measure of peace.  I know this to be true.  

When we choose to stop our negative patterns, incorporate and practice ones that lead to positive growth, the brain will adapt and change.  It takes courage, perseverance, and hope…  Keep focusing on moving towards the peace rather than staying with the distress.  Gradually, the peace will come!

Blessings, 

Judith 

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